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"recipe for grieving i." by Anya Tang

there are only grandmothers left in my family
         because the men smoked themselves to death.
cigarette butts in Atlantic ashtray
         F-2 visas and fucking yellowtape borders
journey to the west like 孙悟空 before
        我快忘掉中文了,可我没忘我爷爷
because there are only grandmothers left in my family
        they make us remember
        there are only nieces left. and daughters 
and no smoking in the kitchen or they scold us for poisoning the food
but now there's chinglish in the kitchen and ropy scars collect on
burnt skin hot oil love & labor 
tough skin
callouses caked in spices 来在吃一点
fat babies are a gift we say gongxifacai for flat noses and thin eyes 
cause when there are only grandmothers left in my family,
         we finally get a seat at the table